The Playdate

It was supposed to be a birthday invitation.  The daughters best friend (who we shall call Annie) is Thai.  

As the daughters birthday is in the School Break and Annie goes to Summer School we decided to bring it forward.

Her mother; a Doctor.  Her father; an Engineer in the same field as the husband speak perfect English so communication was not an issue.

However we learnt that they did not want to communicate with us.  Although they send their child to an American School they are not happy for her to make friends with Western Children.

They sent a message along with their daughter that if we want Annie to come to our home it must be on an official invitation and we were not to use the word "party" in it or they would say no.

That's okay, we typed it up on the computer.  Turned "party" into "playdate", asked if it could be until 5.30pm as the local restaurant opens just after 5pm and that would ensure we have enough time for both girls to enjoy dinner together.

They didn't like the day.

We changed it.

They didn't like the week.

We changed it.

Then they insisted that we request the playdate again ... in writing ... in Thai.

After jumping through all these hoops the mother told her daughter that Western Women are fat lazy and complain all the time and why would she choose friends like that.  She went on to say that because the daughter is not into girly things and prefers her microscope to dolls then she is obviously "not like normal girls".

I was quite hurt about the comments regarding the daughter but she was not bothered and together we were determined to prove to Annie's mother that we are not bad people and hopefully score another future outing for two school friends.

The playdate was still on, right up until the morning of the actual day.  That morning Annie came to school and broke the news that she will not be coming over.  Her mother finally admitted that she did not like me and to justify her abhorrent prejudice she told Annie that Westerners have kidnapped thai children and cut off their arms and legs.  

I had a devastated little girl experiencing her first account of Racial Bigotry.

I was a shocked mother experiencing my first account of Racial Bigotry.

Yesterday, one week after the invitation expired and with no prior arrangement the daughter came home with Annie.  There was no contact with me, no confirmation that we would even be home, she just told her daughter in the morning that she would not be there to pick her up and she was to come to our house.  

She was also told that she had to be ready to be picked up at 5pm so she could not eat out with us.

This was okay, we managed to fit in smoothies, a play and a dinner the girls cooked together.

At 5pm on the dot I made sure she was ready and I had purchased some biscuits and had a fruit platter ready to offer coffee and hopefully prove that we are just regular people.  Not at all interested in her daughters limbs and though a little bit round, certainly not lazy or complaining (well not all the time anyway!)

After an hour I started to worry.  The mother had not yet turned up.  Her daughter was becoming upset.

Finally 90 minutes later she rang Annie (via my mobile) and with no explanation to us for making her wait so long she said she was going to be at our house in a moment and Annie was to wait outside and be ready to get straight into the car.

I have no idea what Annie's mother even looks like.  To respect her wishes I stayed inside whilst she drove up to quickly pick up her daughter and leave.  There was no intention to acknowledge us in any way.

I sat in a bit of a confused stupor afterwards, mindlessly eating the biscuits and fruit for dinner and coming up with ways to justify her dislike towards us.  Perhaps communicating via the children meant some wires were crossed but I am sure it's not that easily explained away.  We were simply judged by someone who had never even met us because of our race and it feels ... awful.

We were warned about Racial hatred by our Thai Cultural Trainer but I never really believed it would be like that.  

It's unwarranted, rude, deplorable and I really really hate that it has upset me so much.

Groundhog Day

Sometimes it is hard to write.

I feel guilty, I know many of my followers are there from the times we were travelling but nowadays I rarely travel anywhere...unless you include Tesco on a Saturday morning.

The husband works so much that he is tired on the two (sometimes three) days that he is home so we shop for groceries, drink Starbucks coffee and lounge around.

When he is away I keep to myself, I go to bootcamp, I run, I eat I wait for the weekends.

We are planning a great white christmas Scandinavian rail adventure but thats not for ages yet.

I will still try to update, but it won't be as frequent.

When our stay in Thailand is finished and we move on again we might be in a country where we can travel again but for now it's just the same thing, day in and day out.

It's not always fun and games kids...

I was going to start posting about the positive, unusual and exciting things about living in Thailand this week but something happened today.  So I am starting off with a post about how some things are a little tough.

Too bad #1

I am too round.

I may have lost 15 kg since arriving here but I am still too big to buy clothes in the gorgeous Thai stores.

I desperately need underwear.  My knickers often fall down and my bra's are so loose I may consider using each cup as extra storage...my keys and mobile could very well fit in nicely alongside the girls.

But though I have lost weight (15 kg actually..did I mention?) I still cannot buy underwear anywhere other than UK store Marks and Spencer and even there I am still limited to the ugly bra section. I need to lose inches and another cup size before I am worthy of the pretty satin and lacy type bra.  Same goes for undies ... it's still big boring cotton sensibles for this slowly shrinking girl.

Too Bad #2

I need to order my shoes from England.  This is not a new problem for me ... I have big feet, quite unfortunate considering my rather short stature.  

Short and round with big flat feet;  cute if you're a penguin, embarrassing if you're a girl.

I could not buy shoes in Spain for the same reason.  Perhaps feet are bred bigger in Oz because I could buy nice shoes there (in the maximum size) but I still had to buy mens shoes in runners as someone somewhere decided that there is no such thing as a girl runner with size 11 (and a half) feet in Australia.  

Too Bad #3

It's freaking hot!  When we arrived here in December I thought it was lovely, a bit hot and humid but not nearly as bad as I expected.  I told family how bearable the weather here is.  I walked and rode and ran in the day and apart from getting sweaty I was okay.  It was not so bad.

I take that all back.

I now run after 8pm to "beat the heat" which isn't really beating the heat at all, just enduring it at a temperature slightly lower than scolding.

I spend a lot of time walking blind because my face is so sweaty my glasses fall off.

And I pass out.

Well, I did today anyway.

I went for a quick walk this morning, then a quick ride with my son before dropping him at Nursery.  I hurried home, grabbed my bootcamp goodies and headed out on my bike again.

I made it to the end of our street.  I said hello to the guard in his station.  Felt great, happy on top of the world and I went to cross the road.

Then I fainted.

I somehow ended up sprawled with my face and chest mushed into the road and my bike on top of me.

My ugly man shoes still on the pedals and the underwire from my saggy baggy bra digging into my ribs.

There were lots of people, cars had stopped in the road to see if that fat felled lady was okay.  I am.  Thankfully I was cycling alone and not with the son.

It's just my pride that is hurt thanks.

I am now holed up in my home too embarrassed to be seen in public...

...ever again!

Happy Birthday Little one

Today the son turned 2.  I felt sad and excited.

He is a beautiful much loved little boy.

As I tucked him into bed he said "love you" for the very first time.

I truly hope he will always feel that way about me.

Chicky Net

I just added a new button link (on the right).  

It's for Chicky Net.  I didn't need to write an entry about it but I really wanted to because this website and forum is wonderful.  I used it months before moving over, for advice and reassurance.  

I wish there had been something like this when I moved to Europe.

It is full of information on every topic you can think of.  The forum is very friendly and active.  

So for any of you lovely Chicky's on the way over or already living here.....this is a real treasure

Just sharing :)

Happy Thai New Year

I have been away....kind of.

We were going to spend a week on the beach in Phuket but decided to get in our car, drive 30km and experience Bangkok. It sounds weird really, it's not a very long drive but due to the husband working away so much we rarely go out and living in an expat community means we also don't experience the real Bangkok.

We stayed at the gorgeous Banyan Tree Hotel where the son became a big hit after he marched into the lobby and yelled out good morning in Thai.

We finally experienced a Tuk Tuk ride.

Our 10th Wedding Anniversary is next week so we hired a babysitter and drank cocktails at the Moonbar and dined at Vertigo - an open restaurant on the 61st floor.

And we got wet! It's Songkran Festival Time. We bought water pistols thinking this would be enough. It wasn't. There were people with buckets of water! When we returned to Nichada there were groups of children at the estates throwing buckets of waters and guards with hoses. It was a fantastic atmosphere.

I hope we can find time to explore this city (and other parts of Thailand). When we lived in Spain we crammed in as much sightseeing as we could, visiting 13 countries in less than 18 months but things are different this time.

Sometimes I feel guilty, I started this blog about travelling and I know a lot of my followers are from travelling blogs but for the next 2 years (although it could be more) there will me some traveling, but not as much as we would like.

Thinking Slimmer

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great"

- Zig Ziglar (and a few others too apparently!)

Last November I made a decision to stop dieting. Whilst googling ways to actually achieve this (It is easier said than done) I found a blog that mentioned "Thinking Slimmer" and I added it to my bookmarks determined to read about how one actually thinks themselves skinny.

When I finally got around to reading it I was disappointed to see that it was about another product, although the blogger had great success and I enjoyed her writing I just wasn't ready to invest in another "diet".

After a few days curiosity got the better of me and I read more and found the website. I was interested but still unsure so I googled reviews expecting them to tell me that it was another fad but all I could find were pages and pages about bloggers who had trialled a "slimpod" (as they are called) and they were all positive and successful and pretty wonderful.

I decided to give it a go and ordered a track about dropping two dress sizes or more. I downloaded it in seconds (but you can opt for a CD instead), put it on my iPod and forgot.

I am not sure why I gained so much weight but I put it down to this day. I could not eat afterwards and walked around in a daze. Then after 3 days I started to eat...and eat...and eat. I didn't stop. It helped me feel better, helped me feel comfort and gave me something else to think about.

I grew and grew and grew. I like to think it was my mind, body and soul's intention to give me a larger, softer and more maternal body to protect and comfort my child but in all honesty, I think it was just a case of my acting like a pig in knickers.

I finally started the slimpod at the end of November.

It is spoken by a man named Trevor Silvester. I remember thinking that it was quite expensive a podcast just to listen to a dreamy sounding guy chat for less than 9 minutes. I even wished I had not bothered but I listened every day just in case.

I have tried (without success) Hypnosis and Paul McKenna and I thought this would be the same, but it's very different.

Within a few days I noticed something weird. I became fuller quicker, I was choosing healthier foods and a few times when I went to eat something I didn't need at the time I just stopped! This was quite bizarre for me.

I wasn't weighing myself at the time so I don't know how the weight loss went but I was less stressed around food. It wasn't until early January that I weighed myself and I had lost 4 kilos without even trying.

By the time I weighed in again I was 7 kilos down.

I stopped wanting to eat bread and cracker type carbs. I stopped enjoying my weekly bottle of white wine, I ate salad because I wanted to, I didn't want to snack as much and when I did I ate fruit.

I was shrinking.

I didn't tell anyone what I was doing except for my best friend (whom I suspect was lovingly skeptical). The husband still doesn't know. I wanted to make sure it worked first; so I wouldn't look like a twit basically.....like I did those times I declared I had finally found the answer only to succumb to Nutella goodness that very afternoon and promptly drop the subject of my latest diet whenever it was raised.

But I have now lost the two dress sizes that the slimpod said I would. I am over 12kg lighter, almost 27lbs of weight loss.

I still have a way to go but I can finally admit that I am losing weight with help...because it's working. It really is!

This is the best money I have ever spent on myself. And the savings I have made not buying wine and other sweeties has paid for the podcast over and over and over.

I have never lost this much weight without trying before.

I have never lost any weight without trying before!

Vroom Vroom Vroom

I know it's not the same as having my own car and/or driver...but look what I have:

And I don't play golf.

The golf buggy (or cart) is a popular method of transport in our little area! I was astounded when I first saw it. I even had a giggle. When you first move here it just looks..odd. But I don't notice anymore.

The best thing is that you can drive it out of the estate and to the shopping mall, where they actually have a special section in the high rise parking building just for golf buggies:

I felt like a right twit the first few times I used it and I have to hold my elbows in to my chest because it wobbles so much that the girls bounce all over the place but...it is kind of fun.

When it starts to run slower I just plug it in overnight to recharge.

I still prefer my bike.

Silent Sunday - I love you Thai Villa Market!

The children

Sometimes I still think of the cultural training disaster. It's frustrating to think that we almost didn't go through with our assignment here because of that information.

However, the issues that worried me the most have so far turned out to be the least of my worries.

The Children.

Thai people are beautiful to them. The daughter has had her arms stroked and comments made about her white skin but because she is 10 most of the attention is showered on the son.

People (surprisingly many are male) point him out to their partners and smile. Young girls take photos of him as they walk past, shop assistants touch his hands and talk to him.

He loves it.

Last weekend a lady rushed over and put his little face in her hands and rubbed his nose with hers whilst repeating You are cute!" I was a little shocked but it was mainly worry about how uncomfortable that might be for him. I needn't have worried. He looked baffled but happy at the same time.

The only scary encounter we have had was when shopping. We turned around to move the trolley and the son was not sitting in it. For a few very long seconds we thought he had been kidnapped.

And he had.

By a family in the checkout next to us. They had plucked him from the trolley and were all taking turns posing with him and taking photos!

I managed to hold off the urge to go into full cardiogenic shock and instead patiently smiled at the people who could very well have run off with our son while we packed our groceries on the Tescoe conveyer belt.

Life is very different here. I like it.

This is where I live..

Beautiful yes?

Silent Sunday - Hallelujah

Apologies

I am so sorry I have not been writing, reading, leaving messages or acknowledging those left for me.

Other than the fact that this is extremely rude and I feel embarrassed.....I am also still sitting on the floor as I write this so I limit my internet time because it's annoying, uncomfortable and sometimes a little hard to get back up again!

But.... Ikea finally came through! After this weekend we will have a lot of our furniture...our daughter can sleep on a bed and I can sit at a desk. In the next week I promise to start posting more, reading and commenting more.

I have found it really difficult to settle here. I think it's a combination of loneliness and isolation. We are one of the few families who have decided not to have a driver and we are a one car family.

This was fine whilst we all lived together but in the first month of moving here the husband was promoted. A great career move but naturally there had to be some sacrifices...one of them was my being demoted....I am now a part time wife. We only really see him on weekends as he works away..and he takes the car with him.

The area we live in is gated, it has everything we need, a few shops, dentist, surgery, starbucks...and it's gorgeous and leafy and green but I felt imprisoned.

Knowing there is a 7 floor shopping mecca a few kilometres from the back gate of this estate and I could not get there was sometimes unbearable. I have been advised not to take a taxi, it was too far to walk and there is no access to public transport where I live.

I could not leave the community and there is also not a lot to do in an empty house, it was starting to feel like groundhog day.

Then I bought this:

And although it's a basic bike and I still can't really go outside the gates, Nichada - where I live, is roughly 6x5 km in area and I felt real freedom being able to ride this bike.

Life actually started to pick up after that, I was no longer upset that our house is empty, that our 2 year assignment is more likely going to be 4+ years, or that things are cheaper to buy outside the gates.

I even lost weight (over 10kg so far...hmmm yes I lost the bet), gave up alcohol, stopped eating chocolate (well....some of the time anyway) joined a bootcamp and started running again (albeit slowly...more like a fatty shuffle really).

For a while there I was not in a happy place but I feel good now. Happy, accepting and healthy.

ps: Thank you for the comments, facebook messages and emails, I have a lot of catching up to do next week and looking forward to it.

x

Hiatus...again

I am quiet because I am struggling.

Just saying.

Yay

I have my computer back finally. But I can't sit and write much as I get a sore butt!

Here is my work station.

Yes I noticed there is no furniture either.

Pretty much like the sitting room:

And the daughters bedroom:

And most of the rooms in this house.

It's all Ikea's fault.

I had never been to Ikea until 2010 where we shopped in Melbourne and loved it.

Last month we shopped in Bang Na and ....... kind of didn't love it. At all!

We chose Ikea because we have a furniture allowance that whilst generous had to stretch a long way.

Every time we picked something in Ikea it took half an hour for someone from the storage room to check if it was in stock. I am not sure why it took so long but it did and that's just the way things are done there as it happened in most departments.

Finally after 3 hours that actually felt like 6 we made it to the checkout. Unable to manage a trolley for the furniture we paid the extra 4% for someone to check yet again that the stock was available. Half an hour later they confirmed it all was and we were then charged another 7% for someone to take it all off the shelves for us.

Then the delivery cost was tallied and we paid for all the items and went home to excitedly await the furnishings to finally complete our home.

On delivery day 6 items arrived. When we asked about all the other furniture we paid for we were told none of it was even in stock but when it comes in someone will tell us and we will have to pay for delivery again.

So we asked when it will be in stock.

Hmmm not sure - we will call you.

Yeah they didn't call.

They never do you know.

That was almost a month ago.

Hiatus

I am finding it hard to update, comment, email or even web surf.

I am using the iPad while my computer is in transition and I am not a fan...I don't know...maybe my fingers are just too fat!

It takes me forever, I am constantly backspacing and the typos are embarrassing.

My beloved desktop will arrive soon but until then I am putting the iPad away and might even read a book or two..real books - the kinds with paper.

To my family who I write to, I am really sorry I have not been emailing as much, I will get back up to date when I have my computer back xx

Visa and Work Permits

Visa and work permits finally done.

Thankfully the company employed another company who ensured the mountain of paperwork and our place in the queue was organized beforehand and we only had to wait for 3 hours to have it all done.

We can now open a Thai Bank Account.

The happy cheapskate

Bangkok...city of smiles and freebies.

• We bought a TV and were given a free DVD player.
• For buying a baby car seat we were given 11 bottles of baby fabric softener.
• A child carrier earns us 8 bottles of baby shampoo.
• A washing machine meant a new set of digital bathroom scales
• A mattress meant a set of freeby sheets
• A toddler bed.....comforter set
• A treadmill meant another set of scales.

The only shop who don't seem to do this is Ikea and that's okay because it was such a nightmare shopping and organizing delivery with them that I doubt we will want to do it again.

Bit ironic that I finally decided to stop using scales, even left my own in storage and I am now blessed with two shiny new glass scales.

I love shopping in Thailand!

Our new house

We have never gone for large houses with lots of rooms as they would need to be furnished and who needs a formal dining room and extra living area when your not going to utilize it. The husband also loathes gardening and outdoor work so we mainly lived in apartments.

After the son came along we needed more room and opted for a house. Although the first was a nightmare we ended up settling in a perfect home, small with one combined living/dining/kitchen but still had 4 bedrooms. The gardening was a pain but we managed.

When we started planning our move I wanted to live in Nichada and we were even more excited to realize that the company liked their staff to live there also due to closeness to work and the secure area as the husband will work away a lot.

Even better was the fact that the lease also included gardeners coming in 3 times a week.

We chose one of the smaller homes as our budget had already inflated by a quarter.

I love our new home, the garden is lovely, so many plants, squirrels (at least that is what I think they are!) play in the backyard and the street is quiet and tree lined.

But our smaller than the usual house in this community has 4 bedrooms, 3 large living areas, 6 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and a maids quarters! It took me 2 hours just to sweep and mop the main walking areas.

I have posted some photos of the outside but will wait until the inside is furnished before posting photos indoors.

We move in officially on the 8th.

Priceless

I don't know what it is about the currency here but I can't get the hang of it without grabbing a calculator or standing dazed for a few minutes while I mentally calculate the cost of things.

I never really excelled in Math at school but when travelling I didn't have any issues working things out in Euros, Kronas, Francs, Pounds or Crowns.

Baht has me stumped.

I set out on my own last night with the son on my hip (as a pram is too hard to maneuvere here) to buy a Christmas gift for the husband.

I caught the sky train to a 7 level shopping centre with the intention of buying him a nice pen. I know I sound like a Christmas Scrooge but I did get a bit carried away with the laptop bag I bought him for his birthday last month so the plan was to be more sensible.

I found the pen counter but it was very hard to concentrate on what to choose as 3 ladies were serving me at the same time (customer service here is excellent) but they were also talking to the son and I became very confused about when I should smile and nod without appearing rude.

Then another lady came over to talk to the son and give him chocolates and touch his hand and ask me questions. In between my many smiles, probably too many Thai thank you's, accepting chocolates, answering questions about our ages and nodding a lot I quickly picked a pen I thought the husband might like without really being able to mentally convert the cost or even look that closely at it.

Yet another sales person arrived to take my payment. As I started counting out the notes I began to worry at how many I needed but I remembered the husband telling me that it looks like a lot more money than it really is.

I accidentally handed him the money with my left hand as the baby was hanging from my right side and it wasn't until I saw a very slight change in his expression that I realized with embarrasment that I had made a huge faux pas....we were told in Cultural Training never to use the left hand, something to do with the toilet!

As I was leaving I also bought myself a plain blue biro from another level.

After having a chat with family and putting the son to bed I used a calculator to work out how much I had spent;

1 x return trip on the skytrain - $1.00

1 x pen for the wife - 30c

1 x pen for the husband...

.... $418!!

And I can't even remember what it looks like.